Sometimes people can ask you really awkward questions when you start to be looked after like:
‘Why do you come to school in a taxi?’
‘Why don’t you live with your parents?’
‘Did you do something wrong?’
It can be really hard to know what to say to them if you haven’t already thought about it.
Here are our top ten tips on how to deal with tricky questions:
- Remember you do not have to tell anyone anything about what is happening. You might want to tell your close friends but think carefully about whether you can trust them not to tell others.
- You could ask people to be patient with you and to look after you as things are really tough at the moment and their questions are difficult to answer. If they are your friends they will understand this.
- Remember to tell them it is not your fault that you are in care, you have done nothing wrong.
- Tell them that it has been agreed that the safest place for you to be living at the moment is where you are.
- You might want to talk to your social worker about why you are being looked after and they will help you to prepare answers to the question – why aren’t you living at home? Your foster carer or residential care worker would also be happy to help you do this. It is also worth practicing your answers with them so you are prepared.
- If you are finding it really hard to even talk about what is happening you could get a card written out with an explanation that you can show to people who ask you.
- If you feel friends or other people at your school are asking you too many questions tell someone you trust and ask them to have a quiet word with them, asking them to stop all the questions.
- Try not to feel under pressure, being prepared for these tough questions and having answers prepared will help you.
- Ignore comments from other people. They do not need to know everything about you and you shouldn’t feel you have to explain yourself to anyone.
- Remember, only the people who are involved in your care should have access to information about you. If you feel that people know more about you than they need to, or that information is being given to people who shouldn’t have it, then speak to your social worker.